Metadata
Author: Ryan Holiday
Notes and Highlights
Sat, 18 Feb 23
It’s a type of storytelling in which eventually your talent becomes your identity and your accomplishments become your worth. ^ref-62317
note: I think this is how we usualdy do story telling about ourselves
Sat, 18 Feb 23
The wheels were coming off, or so it felt. To go from wanting to be like someone your whole life to realizing you never want to be like him is a kind of whiplash that you can’t prepare for. ^ref-24749
note: Cannot relate. Never admire someone that much, especially one who still alive
Sun, 19 Feb 23
the morning, and both prepare me—admonish ^ref-18946
Sun, 19 Feb 23
It’s always nice to be made to feel special or empowered or inspired. But that’s not the aim of this book. Instead, I have tried to arrange these pages so that you might end in the same place I did when I finished writing it: that is, you will think less of yourself. I hope you will be less invested in the story you tell about your own specialness, and as a result, you will be liberated to accomplish the world-changing work you’ve set out to achieve. ^ref-7200
note: This is the goal. Rn, I still cant see why do I need this
Sun, 19 Feb 23
The ego we see most commonly goes by a more casual definition: an unhealthy belief in our own importance. ^ref-60814
note: Its definition. A view that sees me as more important than other. A view we (or I) always have. When in truth, everyone is the center of their own story. I am no more impotant than other people
Tue, 21 Feb 23
What is rare is not raw talent, skill, or even confidence, but humility, diligence, and self-awareness. ^ref-27963
Wed, 22 Feb 23
The only relationship between work and chatter is that one kills the other. ^ref-31738
note: He really believe in this. I dont have that strong of an opinion about this, yet.
Wed, 22 Feb 23
Plug that hole—that one, right in the middle of your face—that can drain you of your vital life force. Watch what happens. Watch how much better you get. ^ref-46536
note: It means shut your mouth
Wed, 22 Feb 23
Appearances are deceiving. Having authority is not the same as being an authority. Having the right and being right are not the same either. Being promoted doesn’t necessarily mean you’re doing good work and it doesn’t mean you are worthy of promotion (they call it failing upward in such bureaucracies). Impressing people is utterly different from being truly impressive. ^ref-46323
note: Still can see the relevance with ego
Wed, 22 Feb 23
This is what the ego does. It crosses out what matters and replaces it with what doesn’t. ^ref-63023
Wed, 22 Feb 23
It’s about the doing, not the recognition. ^ref-34582
Wed, 22 Feb 23
Harder because each opportunity—no matter how gratifying or rewarding—must be evaluated along strict guidelines: Does this help me do what I have set out to do? Does this allow me to do what I need to do? Am I being selfish or selfless? ^ref-57239
note: It is not me that matter
Wed, 22 Feb 23
In this course, it is not “Who do I want to be in life?” but “What is it that I want to accomplish in life?” ^ref-26472
Wed, 22 Feb 23
To become great and to stay great, they must all know what came before, what is going on now, and what comes next. ^ref-29103
Wed, 22 Feb 23
“It is impossible to learn that which one thinks one already knows,” Epictetus says. You can’t learn if you think you already know. You will not find the answers if you’re too conceited and self-assured to ask the questions. You cannot get better if you’re convinced you are the best. ^ref-20138
note: I commonly think I know.
Thu, 23 Feb 23
Roosevelt was above passion. She had purpose. She had direction. She wasn’t driven by passion, but by reason. ^ref-50564
note: Maybe ‘temporary will power’ is what he meant
Thu, 23 Feb 23
What is really called for in these circumstances is clarity, deliberateness, and methodological determination. But too often, we proceed like this … A flash of inspiration: I want to do the best and biggest __ ever. Be the youngest __. The only one to __. The “firstest with the mostest.” The advice: Okay, well, here’s what you’ll need to do step-by-step to accomplish it. The reality: We hear what we want to hear. We do what we feel like doing, and despite being incredibly busy and working very hard, we accomplish very little. ^ref-17624
note: Dont do things because of the flash of will power. Be deliberate
Thu, 23 Feb 23
How can someone be busy and not accomplish anything? Well, that’s the passion paradox. ^ref-40803
Thu, 23 Feb 23
Realism is detachment ^ref-4142
note: detchment from me. See things objectively
Thu, 23 Feb 23
inability to see that burning ourselves out or blowing ourselves up isn’t going to hurry the journey along. ^ref-2347
note: It feels like it is
Thu, 23 Feb 23
Actually, purpose deemphasizes the I. Purpose is about pursuing something outside yourself as opposed to pleasuring yourself. ^ref-12794
note: Restate
Thu, 23 Feb 23
stop being your old, good-intentioned, but ineffective self. ^ref-35401
note: This book is above people who doesnt try. Its for people who try, but stupidly
Fri, 24 Feb 23
When you are just starting out, we can be sure of a few fundamental realities: 1) You’re not nearly as good or as important as you think you are; 2) You have an attitude that needs to be readjusted; 3) Most of what you think you know or most of what you learned in books or in school is out of date or wrong. ^ref-39826
note: He says it with high certainty. “We can be sure”
Fri, 24 Feb 23
Franklin saw the constant benefit in making other people look good and letting them take credit for your ideas. ^ref-1830
note: I dont see the good in this. Maybe its a more effective way to ‘to do’, and a way to disregard ‘to be’ fully
Fri, 24 Feb 23
a critical lesson in football politics: that if he wanted to give his coach feedback or question a decision, he needed to do it in private and self-effacingly so as not to offend his superior. ^ref-60041
note: I guess this is heuristic in hierarchy society
Fri, 24 Feb 23
There is an old saying, “Say little, do much.” What we really ought to do is update and apply a version of that to our early approach. Be lesser, do more. Imagine if for every person you met, you thought of some way to help them, something you could do for them? And you looked at it in a way that entirely benefited them and not you. The cumulative effect this would have over time would be profound: You’d learn a great deal by solving diverse problems. You’d develop a reputation for being indispensable. You’d have countless new relationships. You’d have an enormous bank of favors to call upon down the road. ^ref-49375
note: Be lesser, do omore
Sat, 25 Feb 23
put aside both his ego and in some respects his basic sense of fairness and rights as a human being. ^ref-22031
note: Kinda sepaket actually
Sat, 25 Feb 23
It doesn’t matter how talented you are, how great your connections are, how much money you have. When you want to do something—something big and important and meaningful—you will be subjected to treatment ranging from indifference to outright sabotage. ^ref-27446
Sat, 25 Feb 23
Those who have subdued their ego understand that it doesn’t degrade you when others treat you poorly; it degrades them. ^ref-16632
note: Something typical that we need reminded of
Sat, 25 Feb 23
Up ahead there will be: Slights. Dismissals. Little fuck yous. One-sided compromises. You’ll get yelled at. You’ll have to work behind the scenes to salvage what should have been easy. All this will make you angry. This will make you want to fight back. This will make you want to say: I am better than this. I deserve more. Of course, you’ll want to throw that in other people’s faces. Worse, you’ll want to get in other people’s faces, people who don’t deserve the respect, recognition, or rewards they are getting. In fact, those people will often get perks instead of you. When someone doesn’t reckon you with the seriousness that you’d like, the impulse is to correct them. (As we all wish to say: Do you know who I am?!) You want to remind them of what they’ve forgotten; your ego screams for you to indulge it. Instead, you must do nothing. Take it. Eat it until you’re sick. Endure it. Quietly brush it off and work harder. Play the game. Ignore the noise; for the love of God, do not let it distract you. Restraint is a difficult skill but a critical one. You will often be tempted, you will probably even be overcome. No one is perfect with it, but try we must. ^ref-14393
note: Stated explicitly. Doesn handle the why question tho. Handle the what
Sat, 25 Feb 23
A person who thinks all the time has nothing to think about except thoughts, so he loses touch with reality and lives in a world of illusions. ^ref-64567
note: I am on the bad side. But im not convinced yet
Sat, 25 Feb 23
We plug in some headphones and all of a sudden there’s a soundtrack. We flip up our jacket collar and consider briefly how cool we must look. We replay the successful meeting we’re heading toward in our head. The crowds part as we pass. We’re fearless warriors, on our way to the top. It’s the opening credits montage. It’s a scene in a novel. It feels good—so much better than those feelings of doubt and fear and normalness—and so we stay stuck inside our heads instead of participating in the world around us. That’s ego, baby. ^ref-20622
note: I dont feel like ever havethis experience. I thught stuck in your head means constantly thinking abut our own selves. But not in this self grandiose way
Sat, 25 Feb 23
There’s no one to perform for. There is just work to be done and lessons to be learned, in all that is around us. ^ref-36597
note: I guess keytakeaway
Sat, 25 Feb 23
Christians believe that pride is a sin because it is a lie—it convinces people that they are better than they are, that they are better than God made them. ^ref-4312
note: Good way to put it
Sat, 25 Feb 23
Our ability to learn, to adapt, to be flexible, to build relationships, all of this is dulled by pride. ^ref-30176
note: Agree. Need to stick this quote in the wall
Sat, 25 Feb 23
Punching above your weight is how you get injured. Pride goeth before the fall. Let’s call that attitude what it is: fraud. If you’re doing the work and putting in the time, you won’t need to cheat, you won’t need to overcompensate. ^ref-58851
note: Pride is fraud
Sat, 25 Feb 23
Pride takes a minor accomplishment and makes it feel like a major one. ^ref-57710
note: This is the definition I guess
Sat, 25 Feb 23
It’s worth saying: just because you are quiet doesn’t mean that you are without pride. Privately thinking you’re better than others is still pride. It’s still dangerous. ^ref-38857
note: It is worth saying. And i am guilty of this sin
Sat, 25 Feb 23
At the end, this isn’t about deferring pride because you don’t deserve it yet. It isn’t “Don’t boast about what hasn’t happened yet.” It is more directly “Don’t boast.” There’s nothing in it for you. ^ref-35173
Sat, 25 Feb 23
We are still striving, and it is the strivers who should be our peers—not the proud and the accomplished. Without this understanding, pride takes our self-conception and puts it at odds with the reality of our station, which is that we still have so far to go, that there is still so much to be done. ^ref-4090
note: Dont really get it. But the second part worth nothing. There is still much to be done
Sat, 25 Feb 23
Sure, you get it. You know that all things require work and that work might be quite difficult. But do you really understand? Do you have any idea just how much work there is going to be? Not work until you get your big break, not work until you make a name for yourself, but work, work, work, forever and ever. ^ref-32104
note: Forever
Sat, 25 Feb 23
Fac, si facis. (Do it if you’re going to do it.) ^ref-23947
note: I have told myself this
Sat, 25 Feb 23
The material we’ve been given genetically, emotionally, financially, that’s where we begin. We don’t control that. We do control what we make of that material, and whether we squander it. ^ref-33586
note: Stoic reminder
Sat, 25 Feb 23
Every time you sit down to work, remind yourself: I am delaying gratification by doing this. I am passing the marshmallow test. I am earning what my ambition burns for. I am making an investment in myself instead of in my ego. Give yourself a little credit for this choice, but not so much, because you’ve got to get back to the task at hand: practicing, working, improving. ^ref-51758
note: Good reminder
Sat, 25 Feb 23
Everyone is juicing, the ego says to us, you should too. There’s no way to beat them without it, we think. Of course, what is truly ambitious is to face life and proceed with quiet confidence in spite of the distractions. Let others grasp at crutches. It will be a lonely fight to be real, to say “I’m not going to take the edge off.” To say, “I am going to be myself, the best version of that self. I am in this for the long game, no matter how brutal it might be.” To do, not be. ^ref-13897
note: I can see myself saying the first half
Sat, 25 Feb 23
Every man I meet is my master in some point, and in that I learn of him. ^ref-27450
note: Everyone know something you dont. They are a teacher to you of something
Sat, 25 Feb 23
“Humility engenders learning because it beats back the arrogance that puts blinders on. It leaves you open for truths to reveal themselves. You don’t stand in your own way… . Do you know how you can tell when someone is truly humble? I believe there’s one simple test: because they consistently observe and listen, the humble improve. They don’t assume, ‘I know the way.’” ^ref-14999
note: Humility is the way
Sat, 25 Feb 23
The solution is as straightforward as it is initially uncomfortable: Pick up a book on a topic you know next to nothing about. Put yourself in rooms where you’re the least knowledgeable person. That uncomfortable feeling, that defensiveness that you feel when your most deeply held assumptions are challenged—what about subjecting yourself to it deliberately? Change your mind. Change your surroundings. ^ref-12243
note: How to set env to learn
Sat, 25 Feb 23
it’s not enough simply to want to learn. As people progress, they must also understand how they learn and then set up processes to facilitate this continual education. Otherwise, we are dooming ourselves to a sort of self-imposed ignorance. ^ref-31206
note: The next step or maybe part of learning. If this is harder to bear, then dont bother with it
Sat, 25 Feb 23
We want so desperately to believe that those who have great empires set out to build one. Why? So we can indulge in the pleasurable planning of ours. ^ref-638
note: I can see myself doing this. Focusing on the story instead of the work
Sat, 25 Feb 23
To accept the title and the story wouldn’t be a harmless personal gratification. These narratives don’t change the past, but they do have the power to negatively impact our future. ^ref-46603
note: Never thought about this. The narative is harmful to the future
Sat, 25 Feb 23
Facts are better than stories and image. ^ref-32693
note: I guess key point
Sat, 25 Feb 23
Reducing it to a narrative retroactively creates a clarity that never was and never will be there. ^ref-44387
note: Aha moment is a lie. Many great company doesnt become great sesuai rencana
Sun, 26 Feb 23
we might think that success in the future is just the natural next part of the story—when really it’s rooted in work, creativity, persistence, and luck. ^ref-57490
note: With inflated ego, this is what you bcome
Sun, 26 Feb 23
Instead of pretending that we are living some great story, we must remain focused on the execution—and on executing with excellence. We must shun the false crown and continue working on what got us here. Because that’s the only thing that will keep us here. ^ref-12035
note: Work
Sun, 26 Feb 23
All of us regularly say yes unthinkingly, or out of vague attraction, or out of greed or vanity. Because we can’t say no—because we might miss out on something if we did. We think “yes” will let us accomplish more, when in reality it prevents exactly what we seek. All of us waste precious life doing things we don’t like, to prove ourselves to people we don’t respect, and to get things we don’t want. ^ref-3286
Sun, 26 Feb 23
The farther you travel down that path of accomplishment, whatever it may be, the more often you meet other successful people who make you feel insignificant. It doesn’t matter how well you’re doing; your ego and their accomplishments make you feel like nothing—just as others make them feel the same way. It’s a cycle that goes on ad infinitum … while our brief time on earth—or the small window of opportunity we have here—does not. So we unconsciously pick up the pace to keep up with others. But what if different people are running for different reasons? What if there is more than one race going on? ^ref-41439
note: I am guilty of this. Fomo
Sun, 26 Feb 23
Only you know the race you’re running. That is, unless your ego decides the only way you have value is if you’re better than, have more than, everyone everywhere. More urgently, each one of us has a unique potential and purpose; that means that we’re the only ones who can evaluate and set the terms of our lives. Far too often, we look at other people and make their approval the standard we feel compelled to meet, and as a result, squander our very potential and purpose. According to Seneca, the Greek word euthymia is one we should think of often: it is the sense of our own path and how to stay on it without getting distracted by all the others that intersect it. In other words, it’s not about beating the other guy. It’s not about having more than the others. It’s about being what you are, and being as good as possible at it, without succumbing to all the things that draw you away from it. It’s about going where you set out to go. About accomplishing the most that you’re capable of in what you choose. That’s it. No more and no less. ^ref-35197
note: Kinda a mindset to beat fomo.
Sun, 26 Feb 23
Ego rejects trade-offs. Why compromise? Ego wants it all. Ego tells you to cheat, though you love your spouse. Because you want what you have and what you don’t have. Ego says that sure, even though you’re just starting to get the hang of one thing, why not jump right in the middle of another? Eventually, you say yes to too much, to something too far beyond the pale. ^ref-60725
note: Ego as the cause of fomo
Sun, 26 Feb 23
Life requires those trade-offs, but ego can’t allow it. ^ref-47792
Sun, 26 Feb 23
So why do you do what you do? That’s the question you need to answer. Stare at it until you can. Only then will you understand what matters and what doesn’t. Only then can you say no, can you opt out of stupid races that don’t matter, or even exist. ^ref-43306
note: Kinda my goal right now
Sun, 26 Feb 23
With success, particularly power, come some of the greatest and most dangerous delusions: entitlement, control, and paranoia. ^ref-20685
note: main point
Sun, 26 Feb 23
Micromanagers are egotists who can’t manage others and they quickly get overloaded. ^ref-16130
note: So, delegate
Sun, 26 Feb 23
As you become successful in your own field, your responsibilities may begin to change. Days become less and less about doing and more and more about making decisions. Such is the nature of leadership. This transition requires reevaluating and updating your identity. It requires a certain humility to put aside some of the more enjoyable or satisfying parts of your previous job. It means accepting that others might be more qualified or specialized in areas in which you considered yourself competent—or at least their time is better spent on them than yours. Yes, it would be more fun to be constantly involved in every tiny matter, and might make us feel important to be the person called to put out fires. The little things are endlessly engaging and often flattering, while the big picture can be hard to discern. It’s not always fun, but it is the job. If you don’t think big picture—because you’re too busy playing “boss man”—who will? ^ref-14207
note: Main point
Sun, 26 Feb 23
A fish stinks from the head, is the saying. Well, you’re the head now. ^ref-55374
note: Kinda funy
Sun, 26 Feb 23
Players calculate their own importance. Chests swell. Frustrations emerge. Egos appear. ^ref-2793
note: Calculate their own importance. I ca see myself doing this
Sun, 26 Feb 23
After a team starts to win and media attention begins, the simple bonds that joined the individuals together begin to fray. Players calculate their own importance. Chests swell. Frustrations emerge. Egos appear. ^ref-49250
Sun, 26 Feb 23
Ego needs honors in order to be validated. Confidence, on the other hand, is able to wait and focus on the task at hand regardless of external recognition. ^ref-3332
Sun, 26 Feb 23
Let’s make one thing clear: we never earn the right to be greedy or to pursue our interests at the expense of everyone else. To think otherwise is not only egotistical, it’s counterproductive. ^ref-27509
Sun, 26 Feb 23
Early in your career, you’ll notice that you jump on every opportunity to do so. As you become more accomplished, you’ll realize that so much of it is a distraction from your work—time spent with reporters, with awards, and with marketing are time away from what you really care about. ^ref-60725
note: Back to focus on work
Sun, 26 Feb 23
The credit? Who cares. ^ref-45804
Sun, 26 Feb 23
“human things are an infinitesimal point in the immensity.” It is in these moments that we’re not only free but drawn toward important questions: Who am I? What am I doing? What is my role in this world? ^ref-6444
note: Smallness
Sun, 26 Feb 23
Ego tells us that meaning comes from activity, that being the center of attention is the only way to matter. ^ref-62899
note: He is the cause
Sun, 26 Feb 23
Yes, we are small. We are also a piece of this great universe and a process. ^ref-54990
Sun, 26 Feb 23
It’s hard to be self-absorbed and convinced of your own greatness inside the solitude and quiet of a sensory deprivation tank. It’s hard to be anything but humble walking alone along a beach late at night with an endless black ocean crashing loudly against the ground next to you. ^ref-21006
note: Good experiment
Sun, 26 Feb 23
Remind yourself how pointless it is to rage and fight and try to one-up those around you. Go and put yourself in touch with the infinite, and end your conscious separation from the world. Reconcile yourself a bit better with the realities of life. Realize how much came before you, and how only wisps of it remain. ^ref-65281
Sun, 26 Feb 23
Other politicians are bold and charismatic. But as Merkel supposedly said, “You can’t solve … tasks with charisma.” ^ref-46758
note: Lol what a slap to our face
Sun, 26 Feb 23
It keeps them sober. It helps them do their jobs. ^ref-59279
note: Back, to work
Sun, 26 Feb 23
what’s difficult is to apply the right amount of pressure, at the right time, in the right way, for the right period of time, in the right car, going in the right direction. ^ref-49625
Tue, 18 Apr 23
Belisarius was stripped of his wealth, and according to the legend, blinded, and forced to beg in the streets to survive. ^ref-61430
note: What should I feel when a good minded man got this in return. If I am him, would I still do it?
Thu, 20 Apr 23
was all that mattered. Any adversity could be endured ^ref-46004
Thu, 20 Apr 23
It’s far better when doing good work is sufficient. In other words, the less attached we are to outcomes the better. When fulfilling our own standards is what fills us with pride and self-respect. When the effort—not the results, good or bad—is enough. ^ref-45899
Thu, 20 Apr 23
Well, get ready for it. It will happen. Maybe your parents will never be impressed. Maybe your girlfriend won’t care. Maybe the investor won’t see the numbers. Maybe the audience won’t clap. But we have to be able to push through. We can’t let that be what motivates us. ^ref-65085
note: Failure of result is inevitable
Thu, 20 Apr 23
Change the definition of success. “Success is peace of mind, which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you made the effort to do your best to become the best that you are capable of becoming.” ^ref-44421
Thu, 20 Apr 23
You will be unappreciated. You will be sabotaged. You will experience surprising failures. Your expectations will not be met. You will lose. You will fail. ^ref-24183
note: Toothache wil come
Tue, 25 Apr 23
He found himself in a hole and kept digging until he made it all the way to hell. ^ref-30619
note: Wtf
Fri, 28 Apr 23
Ego kills what we love. Sometimes, it comes close to killing us too. ^ref-51879
note: Cool quote. Dont understand yet, worth pondering
Fri, 28 Apr 23
Most trouble is temporary … ^ref-2461
Fri, 28 Apr 23
tap out ^ref-55231
note: The idea of stopping. But not quiting
Mon, 01 May 23
focused on how to get even better. That’s what makes humility such a powerful force—organizationally, personally, professionally. ^ref-49475
note: To - do
Mon, 01 May 23
making a distinction between the inner scorecard and the external one. Your potential, the absolute best you’re capable of—that’s the metric to measure yourself against. Your standards are. Winning is not enough. People can get lucky and win. People can be assholes and win. Anyone can win. But not everyone is the best possible version of themselves. ^ref-7763
note: Do compare, against yourself
Mon, 01 May 23
A person who judges himself based on his own standards doesn’t crave the spotlight the same way as someone who lets applause dictate success. ^ref-62750
note: And i am currently below my standard
Tue, 02 May 23
In the Internet age, we call this the Streisand effect (named after a similar attempt by the singer and actress Barbra Streisand, who tried to legally remove a photo of her home from the Web. Her actions backfired and far more people saw it than would have had she left the issue alone.) ^ref-64142
note: I think there is something similiar in mark manson book
Tue, 02 May 23
You know what is a better response to an attack or a slight or something you don’t like? Love. That’s right, love. For the neighbor who won’t turn down the music. For the parent that let you down. For the bureaucrat who lost your paperwork. For the group that rejects you. For the critic who attacks you. The former partner who stole your business idea. The bitch or the bastard who cheated on you. Love. Because, as the song lyrics go, “hate will get you every time.” Okay, maybe love is too much to ask for whatever it is that you’ve had done to you. You could at the very least try to let it go. You could try to shake your head and laugh about it. ^ref-12263
note: This is an interesting statement from a stoic
Tue, 02 May 23
“Hate at any point is a cancer that gnaws away at the very vital center of your life and your existence. It is like eroding acid that eats away the best and the objective center of your life.” ^ref-10667
note: This do have merit
Fri, 05 May 23
needless load of resentment. ^ref-20901
note: Is resentment always needless?
Fri, 05 May 23
love is right there. Egoless, open, positive, vulnerable, peaceful, and productive. ^ref-35170
note: Instead of hatred
Sat, 06 May 23
There is no way around it: We will experience difficulty. We will feel the touch of failure. ^ref-7039
note: Toothache
Mon, 08 May 23
“People learn from their failures. Seldom do they learn anything from success.” It’s why the old Celtic saying tells us, “See much, study much, suffer much, that is the path to wisdom.” ^ref-65402
note: Obstacle is the way